Facing Grief, Disappointment, and Loss During the Holidays

Don’t you wish you had a pause button for hardship and grief during the holidays? Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year—a time of celebration, joy, and delight in our Savior’s birth. But for some of us, Christmas surfaces feelings of grief, loneliness, a tense family relationship, or the reminder of the loss of a marriage or job. No one should have to choose between a joyful Christmas and a hard reality. 

The paradox of Christmas is that Jesus’ blessed birth happened during the darkest of times. Caesar Augustus ruled harshly, Israel was under Roman oppression, social and political unrest ensued, the people faced food shortages, and many believers lost hope. Yet, Mary and Joseph welcomed the Savior of the world in a lowly manger during hard times—showing us how to embrace God’s presence amid imperfect circumstances. 

You may feel confused about how to navigate mixed emotions during a hard holiday season. Here are a few tips:

1. Rest in the Both/And

As much as we want our Christmas to only be merry, it’s okay to allow space for other emotions. Feelings can coexist. If you’ve lost a loved one, you might feel guilty for celebrating—or there might be moments when you don’t feel like celebrating at all. Rather than choosing between grief and our joy, set aside time to honor your loved one or slip away from the crowds to be alone with God. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit.” This verse captures the beautiful nature of Immanuel, God with us. He is with you in both your weeping and rejoicing this season. Hope is near during the darkest times. 

2. Express Gratitude

The Bible is full of verses about gratitude and thanksgiving. Scientific studies also show that gratitude impacts conditions like stress, anxiety, and depression. Make a list of the things you're grateful for, express thanksgiving to God in prayer, or intentionally express appreciation to your loved ones when you see them for the holidays. When we express gratitude, we remember the bigger picture. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 

3. Give Hope to Someone Hurting 

One of the best things we can do when we are hurting is to help someone else who is hurting too. It sounds counterintuitive—but the Bible talks about this in 2 Corinthians 1:3, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Reach out to a neighbor or friend you know is struggling, bring a meal to a new mother, send flowers to someone in the hospital, or sign up to serve through our Missions opportunities. 

This Christmas, embrace God’s presence in the midst of imperfect circumstances. Invite Him to draw near. Intentionally express gratitude. And find a way to give hope to someone else who is hurting too. If you are grieving this season, grieve with God’s presence, and don’t let your hardship rob you of hope. 

Helpful Resources: 

Learn more about Christ Fellowship’s Grief Share Ministry

Find a Christian Therapist

Looking to speak with a pastor? Contact our Care Ministry Team

For more Joy to the World series resources, click here.
For more The Missing Peace Series resources, click here.